DISAPPOINTMENTS!
As a man trying to move forward in his calling and purpose, one thing I really struggle with is disappointment. And after much thought, I’ve come up with a conclusion.
A disappointment is a state of attitude or feeling. It’s a state of “being let down,” a feeling of sadness and frustration. Unfortunately, there has been a “DIS” in an appointment we had in our future. The prefix “dis” means “not” or the “opposite of”… In other words, we had a mental arrangement or an expectation that was eliminated or cancelled. And by doing so, it caused us to be disconnected from the expectation of our preconceived appointment.
Now, defining disappointments is one thing but understanding where they come from is another. I’ve had my share of disappointments and in many cases an overdose. But in analyzing and asking God for wisdom to recognize their origin, I realized some things:
- Disappointments DON’T come from God. One of His attributes of God is that He is FAITHFUL. His faithfulness denotes that His purpose for us is that we succeed. “Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. (Deuteronomy 7:9)
- Disappointments come from us. We get disappointed when things fail to live up to our own preconceived expectations. We attach expectation to every part of our lives. We create conclusions as to how we expect things to pan out. And we do this more when we are the center of our universe!
- Eliminating expectation is NOT the answer. This is much of the behavior of people who have had their share in disappointments. Eliminating expectation is not the answer to living free from the pain of disappointments. Without expectation there is no hope.
- Disappointments come when we place God in a box. We expect Him to fulfill His purpose our way. And that usually occurs when we have an “it’s all about me” attitude. In the Kingdom of God, self-aggrandizement, pride, selfishness and laziness will always lead to failed efforts of notoriety or empty “accomplishments.”
- It’s all about attitude and misplaced expectation. I’ve come to comprehend a kingdom paradox…our dreams never die until we do, but it’s only in “our death” that they become alive again. When our attitude is one of service and humility then we position ourselves NEVER to be disappointed in our expectations.
Understand that the greatest “seeming disappointment” was the crucifixion of Jesus. Oh how the disciples must have felt! Their expectations were most definitely misplaced! It was only in His death that Victory was achieved. So, if you are feeling disappointment over an unfulfilled expectation, remember this… God is faithful, He will fulfill His purpose through you – but only if it’s His purpose and not yours. And what might be the end of something it could very likely be the beginning of something very BIG and SUCCESSFUL!
Anxious to read your thoughts,
Pastor Manny
Wow pastor, that’s very deep. As a read this i feel really touched by it because this is exactly what is going on in my life right now. I am to quick to assume, allot of times if something bad happens it is god that did it. And when times are tough god is usually the first to be departed from my life, but that is not the way i should or needs to be. I know what you mean when you say that we have to have gods purpose in our lives and not ours. This blog has really touched me, also when you say you have gotten disappointed, sadly that is all pf us 🙁 but we must keep god in ours lives.
I have been disappointed a lot in my life but after reading this blog that is not totally the case. Most of my disappointments have been because of how I expected things to turn out, but there are people that I put my trust in that also disappointed me as well. God has spoken quite a few promises in my life and HE has yet to be unfaithful. I admit there were times that I didn’t expect things to happen a certain way but God was still faithful in the midst of my doubt. Though it is not as bad as it was before, I do get a little discouraged and disappointed from time to time, but I get encouraged because God has always been and always will be faithful.
I have been guilty of #3 and 4 on more than one occasion, either missing out on the very thing I was believing for because I was too disappointed that it didn’t happen my way- or giving up and having no expectations at all because “nothing ever worked.” Both attitudes show a lack of trust in God. When I start to feel things not going as I expected, and disappointment trying to set in, I just remember my favorite verse… Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
Everyone has preconceived expectations. We become disappointed when these expectations are not fulfilled. Our “dis” appointments becomes futile when we trust god and know he is in ultimately in control.
Lately I have been disappointed in some of the decisions that I have made in the past years of my life. I guess I have come to realize to get over it and start writing the goals again and repent. I pray that I will not miss God’s purpose that he has for me and I will achieve what I was born for.
Disappointments…… I have had many of them also, but it is true that I have brought them on myself. So many times I do things my way and I end falling flat on my face. If only I would have done things according to His Will, His Glory things may would have been very different, actually it would have been totally different. Growing up I have found that doing things His way will benefit me in the long run. I will continue to be in expectation.
Thank God for the word that when we meditate on it, and live it changes our way of thinking. When we read about the many men and women of God in the bible, how they had to trust in the promises of God through so much adversity, and many of them didnt even live to see it come to pass, but God was faithful to fullfill his plan. Im sure many times they must have thought how is God gonna do this or that, but because they were able to see and perceive the word of the Lord that helped them not wallow in disappointments, but trust in thus says the Lord. I know I have had my share of disappointments, but I pray i can perceive the vision of the house not for me but for the people who need to come to Christ. Thanks Pastor for the lesson and insight..
This will be a problem/issue for the body of Christ until the end of time. I know for me, I often fantasize about how my life should be played out and for the life of me, I just don’t understand why God won’t just get on board! In my mind, it would make things easier for all parties involved, including Him (LOL). Then I’m reminded not to lean to my own understanding and that my ways and thoughts are not his ways and thoughts and that my wisdom is foolishness compared to His. I guess until we meet our Heavenly Father and He explains the plan/purpose/ path that He chose for our lives, we just won’t get it. We just have to remain sensitive to His leading!
Well Pastor I think everybody has gone throught disappointments because that will make you get stronger for the lord. we have to know that life is full of disappointments and we have to learn to go forward and just let the Lord take you to the next level.
I have gone through all the above stages of disappointments and now I see clearly why it was MY disappointment. We all go through disappointments but until we realize that it is our own attitude that causes the same we will live in disappointments and bitterness. About 2 years ago I went through a long season (about a whole year) in which I was walking around very disappointed due to an unfulfilled expectation. Talk about being really upset with God, I was MAD. I then realized that it was because I was trying to obtain something that was not God’s will or promise for me, it was what I wanted, ME. I had to finally let go and let God, trusting him knowing that his promises would be fulfilled. He is truly a faithful GOD.
Pastor as you know many of us are going through the same process as you are.
Thank God for the HOPE we have in Him. “Therefore since we also are surrounded with so great a cloud of witnesses, let US LAY ASIDE EVERY WEIGHT and the sin which so easily besets us, and let us run WITH PATIENCE the race that is set before us, LOOKING TO JESUS THE AUTHOR AND FINISHER OF OUR FAITH, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and SAT DOWN AT THE RIGHT of the throne of God. Heb 12:1-2
“Understand that the greatest “seeming disappointment” was the crucifixion of Jesus. Oh how the disciples must have felt! Their expectations were most definitely misplaced!” This is it! It is all about expectations and desires. I believe it is only when we delight our selves in Him that the desires of our heart surrender to His therefore eliminating disappointments. His desires become ours, therefor its fulfillment is eminent and thus brings forth joy, peace, and satisfaction to our lives. Great blog!
We are all subject to disappointments, I don’t think it’s possible to dream without encountering them. I do think however that we must not dwell on them and we must learn from our own disappointments to help shape our dreams according to the will of God and the dreams God has for us.
Lately I am reading Psalms 37, and is challenging me on identifying my true desires and also is challenging my faith. God has promise us the desires of our heart, but is conditional when we delight ourselves to Him is the only way that can happen. We get disappointed when we see people in general doing things that we want to do, but we think that we can’t do it. And in the same psalm say to wait that the promise is coming. We just have to belief and by faith He will come and bring forth what He promise. Go is not a lier, He will make it.
This is awesome Pastor. I have had many disappointments in my life, usually it is me expecting more than I should. Many times I get discouraged and try to figure out why this disappointment has come on me. I have learnt that we must do things according to His will and purpose. God is faithful and His will will not be a disappointment.
Honestly, yesterday when I saw the title of your blog in my email I delayed reading it as I am so very familiar with the feeling of disappointment; as I get older the disappointments seem to be bigger and occur more frequently. For some time now I feel that I have been living in this giant ball of disappointment, they keep rolling in, one after the other, and to top it all off I am 2wks away from a milestone birthday that I definitely had set some goals to be reached by.
My immediate response was to stop hoping, because if you don’t set your hopes on something then chances are disappointments won’t occur; but after reading your blog I’m encouraged to keep my expectations alive, my hope is in Him, He is faithful to see me through.
I used to see my disappointments as failures. Me failing to do something which causes the disappointment. If I look at it from another perspective, I propably was not where I was supposed to be. So maybe I didn’t fail and those disappointments were just stepping stones leading me to where I need to be.
Im in a place right now where I have to fight the feeling of disappointment due to certain events – but I know my God is real, I know that everything that happens is for a reason, and I’m learning to trust Him more and understand that the more I focus on His will is the less disappointed I will be.
Dis-appointment can be a debilitating thing. It literally can place one in a hopeless dispaired frame of mind. It can stop us dead in our tracks of our forward progession. Just because of our own preconcieved ideas of where we think we should be.. We are on an adventure that the organizer and initiator is God. We must look and focus on the future, and complete the call to which we have been called. It is not on a time table, it is only required of us to COMPLETE our assignment.
Pastor, all of your blogs are so full of love, information and great insight for me.
I have been disappointed most of my life because I have mainly expected someone
to fill up this void in my life. When all along God was walking and protecting me.
I had so many close calls to death. As I look back over my life, I am so grateful
that I turned my life over to him. All the time I disappointed me and still loved me:
What more do I need in my life than God for I know he will never disappoint me.
WOW!!! Definitely been there done that 🙁 I’m learning how to live my life based on His word not my emotions…
I totally agree. I am the kind of person who always wants to get what I want so I end up disappointed at times because I don’t get my way. I have to take a step back and say how can I change my attitude and reactions. And the only way is to trust Him regardless of what is going on in or around Me. Cause every little thing is going to be all right.
I am learning to separate self from Spirit, and in so doing have been scratching my head allot to objectively (i.e. biblically) track that my direction is led, not driven. I am confident in the former, but can’t afford to trust my own heart / confidence either (what a dilemma!). Time will have to tell…for now the straight and narrow seems to be the path that MHC is on through your leadership. Especially after this weekend, and what has transpired since, I am even more confident that you are being led. I’ve embraced and submitted to the vision of the house…most likely my endeavors will be God’s will. Lord, ltake control and let it be so!